Life Sucks, deal with it
by Stupid computer
Summary: Eight siblings, five of them annoying, two that are bearable, and one that you just really want to punch in the face. Add two screw ball parents into the mix, their youngest child Noah and his crazy, warrior woman, candy obsessed friends and you get...
1. Chapter 1

**Ok, first TDI fanfic. I've always wondered about Noah's family since he is the youngest out of nine kids. This chapter is just more of a quick prologue to introduce Noah's brothers and sisters and some of their characters. This is also going to be my first NoCo…anything really. Enjoy.**

If you were to look at the van, you'd have thought it was a public bus. It had nine teens packed tightly in the back, and two adults in the front. It was fairly quiet considering the vans' passengers were only ranging from the ages of 16-25. In the very back sat a familiar book worm and an two older looking twin girls with tanned skin and dirty-blonde hair. The boy was reading a book while the girl on his right was entertaining herself by poking him. She did this for some time, the younger boy flipping pages ever minute or so.

_Poke,poke,poke,flip,poke,poke,poke,flip,poke,poke,poke,flip,poke,poke,pok-_

"An, stop poking me!"

"Aw come on NoNo. You're soooo boring. If you'd just talk to me I wouldn't poke you so much." An said. She stuck her tongue out at her younger brother, Noah.

"Classy. And you wonder why you don't have a boyfriend." The girl to Noah's left, a much calmer type of person, quietly interjected.

"Noah, it isn't right to insult someone. It effects your karma. Come, let us all sing together to wipe away the dark holes in your soul that you have made." She said with an airy tone in her voice.

"Dot, will you shut it with that karma stuff! Ugh that drives me crazy." An said to her twin sister.

"Hey, how about all of you shut up before I kick you out of the car!" The boy seated in front of them commented. He was taller than Noah, with a good bit more of a build. He shared Noah's long, shaggy brown hair and skin color but he had a rounder face that housed glasses on the arch of his nose. The other two boys sitting beside him looked just like him except the one on the left sported red hair and the one on the right had blonde.

"Mitchell, remember what mom told you about your anger management?" The blonde haired boy said.

"Don't you start too, Mathew. I'm just sick of hearing them argue every. Freaking. Time. And don't you dare say anything Marcus." Mitchell warned the red headed boy. Up front in the van, a young man was sitting next to two of his siblings. The eldest was Jason, he looked older than he really was with dark circles under his eyes. His greasy, black hair didn't help much either. The other two were brunettes, one boy and one girl. Both of them had a bored expression on their faces.

"Mom, when you invited AnnaBeth, Casey, and I back from collage for the holidays, I thought you meant we were going to relax." Jason huffed. His mom, a short, petite woman with glasses and very dark red hair just smiled at him. His dad, a tall, blonde haired man, had put in earplugs at the beginning of the ride.

It the back the others had started a game of keep away with Noah's book. Noah was always picked on being the youngest. An, Dot, Mitchell, Mathew, and Marcus still lived at home with Noah. They were all graduating high school this year, thank God. Noah hated being crammed with them all in one house. The only sibling he could stand was AnnaBeth and she hardly ever came around. Noah reached over for the book in Mitchell's hand but sadly missed.

"Let's see what we have here. Oooh, lookie what we got. "Little Women" how cute. You want to learn how to be a proper little girl Noah? I say you need it. You're a real crappy one right now."

"Mitchell you've never even read the book. A fly would be able to comprehend it better than you could." Noah said. Sarcasm was his specialty after all. Mitchell threw the book at Noah. It hit him square in the face. They all laughed at their 'squirt' brother before talking with each other or texting on their phones. Noah despised them all. Jason complained to much, Casey acted all quiet but really he was an evil eel, AnnaBeth was just above tolerable, Mitchell made it his goal to ruin everyone's life, Marcus was a push over, Mathew was a goodie boy, An was annoying on every level, and Dot…honestly she scared him with all her mumbo jumbo. They say you can't chose your family though. Noah could only hope he was adopted and didn't share any actual DNA with these people

"Don't worry Noah. The universe's karma will work everything out. Think of it this way: everyone in this car that you hate is libel to die before you do." Dot said to her brother. It was her attempt to make him feel better. It did make the sadistic book worm just a little happy…that didn't mean that it wasn't creepy or wrong on many levels.

"What-ever." Noah replied in his same sarcastic tone that he always did. He went back to reading his book. Noah almost missed the Total Drama series. Under line almost. At least in that there was a possibility of a million dollars for the Hell you went through.

" We're here kids. Out of the car." Noah's mother called out. They had arrived at the mall to do some Christmas shopping. Mitchell pushed Noah on a small patch of ice. Noah landed face first in a patch of muddy snow.

"Watch out Pinhead."

"Pinhead, nice. Not smart enough to come up with an original insult?" Noah then spat a mouthful of snow in his brothers face.

"I'll make you pay for that squirt!"

"BOYS STOP IT!" The boys mom had intervened. "We are supposed to be here for Christmas shopping not fist fights. Now everyone, we'll meet in the front of the mall in a couple of hours ok? You each have your money right?" All the kids nodded. "Good. Now get going the lot of you." They all ran in different directions. Noah walked of course. Running wasn't his forte. Christmas shopping was his least favorite activity. With any luck, Noah would take the time to gift wrap the dozen or so slugs he planned to buy for Mitchell.

**Review please.**


	2. Chapter 2

The trip to the mall had been rather uneventful. Uneventful for Noah that is. The only thing that had happened was that Noah met up with Izzy and Eva there. The two girls managed to get him banned from six stores and the food court. According to Izzy the Taco Bell stand was run by giant, purple kangaroos that were trying to fatten people up so they could feed them to the grape jelly gods. Izzy was as insane as ever. Noah didn't know you could create a boom with ground beef and hot sauce but, as Izzy showed, it could be done. Once you've know someone for three T.V seasons and half the school year things like this don't surprise you.

Noah was now walking home with Eva and Izzy. He didn't feel like getting in that car again. Exercise wasn't really his forte so that just proves how much he hated riding with the rest of his siblings. Noah was lazy with the presents he got. He picked out some weird voodoo doll for Dot, lip gloss for An and AnnaBeth, and a stress ball for Jason. You can see he went all out with these gifts spending a whole $13.50 on four of his siblings. Being kicked out from most of the stores didn't leave him with much choice to buy for the rest of his family.

"Are you listening to me squirt?" Eva pointed her finger at Noah's chest as they walked. Noah was in the middle of Eva and Izzy. Crazy bird on one side, Iron Woman on the other. Oh goodie.

"No. If you want me to listen you have to say something worth my time."

"Alright, give me one good reason why I shouldn't punch your face in right now!" She grabbed up Noah by the hood of his coat, lifting him a good foot in the air. Noah had the same bored look on his face as ever.

"Because I let you copy my geometry homework." Noah gave her a smirk as she sat him down. Eva grinded her teeth and punched a dent in a stop sign they past.

"You got off lucky string bean! Let's just get to your stupid house already."

"If I remember correctly, I never invited you over in the first place."

"Are you saying you don't like us? Is that what you're trying to tell us?" Eva ripped up a street sign and tied it in a knot with her teeth. Noah was getting slightly scared at this point. There's only so much doing someone's homework can get you. He laughed nervously, backing away.

"N-no. You guys are great. You haven't punched my computer in over a month and Izzy blows up the house much less frequently." He added a touch of sarcasm near the end out of habit. Eva didn't catch it, thankfully.

"Hmph." Was all she said while crossing her arms.

"Uh speaking of the nut case, where is Izzy?" Arguing half the way, the other two didn't notice Izzy's absence.

"She was standing right next to you a moment ago egg hea-GYAH!" Izzy jumped up on Eva's head mid-sentence. She was wearing nothing but her normal top and skirt.

"AHA! E-SCOPE HAS GOTTCHA'! E-SCOPE HAS PROVEN HERSELF WORTHY TO THE PEANUT BUTTER GODS AT LAST!" Izzy screamed from Eva's head. She then proceeded to chew on Eva's hair as Eva tried prying her off. Noah stood by trying to keep his blank expression during the scene. He was unsuccessful, though, as Eva dived head first into the snow. Izzy jumped of just in time. Noah let out a slightly sadistic laugh while Izzy was helping Eva up. They both slipped on the ice, falling back down into the snow.

"Hehe, comfy down there girls?" Noah chuckled some more as Eva shook the snow off like a dog. She glared at the scrawny boy.

"Yeah, really comfy. Why don't you come down here and see for yourself."

"Wait a minute. No don't-mphpphpfpmpfhpfmph!" Too late. Eva had pulled down the little nerd and shoved his face in the snow.

"Ohoh, Izzy wants to try that!" Izzy dunked her head in the snow. "Mphey loff I'mph aph ostriphmph!"

"EVPH! SMPH MPHT!" Eva complied with what she was pretty sure was Noah begging to be lifted out of the snow.

"Comfy enough for you?"

"I. Hate. You." Noah wiped snow of his now red with cold face.

"Whatcha' doing there little bro? Playing with your girlfriends?" Noah turned around to see Mitchell standing behind him. Apparently they were only one house down from Noah's.

"They're not my girlfriends!" Mitchell let the same sadistic smirk Noah so often used cross his lips.

"Right. I almost forgot you prefer the other dirty bits." Jason stood in triumph over his younger brother who for once had nothing to say. All Noah did was turn an even deeper red than he was before. Noah was about to just walk passed him when Izzy yelled out to him.

"DUCK! INCOMING!" Noah did what he was told. A glowing snowball hit Mitchell in the face.

"What is this stuff?"

"Let's not stay to find out. Come on guys!" Izzy grabbed both her friends and ran away to the house. Moments later you could hear Mitchell scream like a little girl. Noah wanted to laugh but he didn't think his mom would be too happy if he just killed his older brother.

"Izzy…what was that stuff?"

"Don't worry Noah. E-Scope only made it slightly radioactive." Noah let out a sigh of relief. Only _slightly _radioactive.

"Well then good girl Izzy. You get a dog biscuit for doing a good trick." Izzy rolled over like a dog and started barking.

"No thank you for me? I was about to punch that guy in the gut!"

"Riiiiight. Were you going to do that before or after you shoved my head in the snow again?" The two continued arguing. Izzy started chasing an imaginary tail when Dot walked in.

"Oh, why hello Eva. Greetings Izzy. Welcome. If I had known you were coming over I would have changed the auratic atmosphere of our living room to fit your personalities." Noah smacked his head at his sister. Izzy seemed amused by her though.

"Hi Dorothy! Look at me, I'm a dog! MOO! Hahaha."

"Well that's quite nice Izzy. Not to be rude or anything but didn't I tell you to call me Dot instead of Dorothy?"

"Dot you don't have to be polite to them. Lord knows I'm not." Noah stated. This comment got him a punch courteous of Eva.

"You might want to take some lessons from your sister turkey. At least she knows how to treat company!"

"Please. You come over to my house so much you're more like leeches covered with duct tape and sunbathing with glue."

"I once sunbathed with glue. It actually felt really nice until the seagulls came and sat on me. Man am I never doing that again."

"That's…interesting Izzy dear. Say, isn't your inner being freezing in those cloths?" Dot mentioned seeing how Izzy was still in her green tank and short skirt.

"Not at all. Izzy never gets cold."

"OK if you say so. Noah I'm going to tell mom that you have your friends over. You guys can head up to your room and I'll bring you all organic, vegetarian, delicious snacks."

"Gee thanks. You shouldn't; really." Dot, either oblivious to her brothers sarcasm or choosing to ignore it, smiled and went to the kitchen.

"I'll be up in a bit with the food. Have fun!"

"I hate the fact that she's too nice for me to use sarcasm but she's too weird for me to not have perfect opportunities."

"You're the only person who could complain about someone being too nice. Come on nerd. Grab the nut job and let's head up to your room."

"Yes sir boss."

XXXXX

Mitchell walked in half an hour later with a blue face.

"That psychotic maniac. Trying to kill me. Well we'll just see about that."

"Is that you Mitchell?"

"No Dot, it's the Easter Bunny."

"You don't have to be rude. Say, what's wrong with your face?"

"Don't. Want. To. Talk. About It. So where is he?"

"Which he? Dad took Matt, Marcus, and Casey out, and Jason went to the library. AnnaBeth and An are in their rooms but technically they aren't he's."

"Dot, who's the only other he left?"

"Noah…oooh that he. He has company over."

"I know. One of his little friends did this to my face!" Mitchell made a dramatic gesture to his face.

"I think it suites you. Blue has always been one of your better colors."

"Very funny. I just wanna give the little twerp his bag. He left it behind when he ran away." Mitchell handed her the bag.

"This must be the things he got for Christmas."

"Our presents? Open the bag and let me see."

"No! Don't you know how much bad energy that gives off? We could be cursed for the rest of our lives."

"Dot we're not going to be cursed."

"Well I don't care what you think. I'm bringing these presents up to Noah along with my healthy, organic snacks. Do you want to try one? It's my new seaweed recipe."

"No thanks. I'm on a strict no seaweed diet. Doctors' orders."

"Fine then." Dot turned to leave up the stairs but then stopped. "Mitchell."

"Yeah?"

"You might not want to go in the living room right now. I'm re-arranging the flow of aura in there and it's a little touchy with hostile energy."

"What-ever." Mitchell walked into the living room anyways. Half way up the steps, Dot heard Mitchell scream for the second time that day.

"Told you."

**Hope you enjoyed that chapter. Please review. Remember: Favs are nice but reviews are nicer.**


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